3/13/2025

It's been five years since Happi passed away and the start of COVID. In some ways it feels like yesterday and in other ways it seems forever ago. 

Vivien is helping me to move on. I miss my Happi all the time but it was her time to cross the rainbow bridge. 

Until tomorrow...

FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO!

 Feliz Cinco de Mayo! I made chocolates a few days ago. They were for Cinco de Mayo. I made Mexican chocolate. If you have not had Mexican chocolate it is made with cinnamon and cayenne pepper. Not a lot just enough to give a kick. I made chocolates in the shape of skulls, sombreros, alpacas and cactus. I used the Mexican chocolate and some white chocolate.

Today is also the anniversary of my dear Happi's birthday. Both Lucky and I miss her so much. 

I am working to get my world in order before next week. I ordered food today since I can't eat another whole list of foods. Pretty soon I will be able to only drink water at this rate!  Ha ha. I looked at my jam selection and they all have seeds, I can't eat seeds for the next five days. I am not supposed to eat high fiber and my whole house is high fiber. No nuts and I am a vegan who eats nothing but nuts. Tonight I had an open faced vegan grilled cheese sandwich on artisan white bread. 

Until tomorrow...

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO

 Happy Cinco de Mayo!  I made a twist on nachos for dinner to celebrate.  My nachos had corn tortilla chips, lentils, baked Japanese sweet potatoes, salsa, tomatoes, and vegan cheese.  I used mozzarella cheese.  It tasted so good I ate the whole thing.  I am so full right now I can't move.

Today is also a day of reflection.  It is the anniversary of Happi's birthday.  I miss her so much still.  

A funny story from when I took Lucky to the vet yesterday.  I haven't cut my hair since last August or October.  I can't remember.  I was in my car with my mask on and the vet came out and came to my car.  He pet Lucky and walked away. He has known me for 25 years and he walked right up to my car, pet my dog and didn't recognize me!!  Then I got a call.  It was him asking where my car was.  He came over again and laughed so hard.  He said with my long hair he just didn't recognize me.  So funny!

Lucky's test results came back very good.  Nothing wrong.  He said she is in very good condition considering her age.  She is about 13 years old but she still acts like a puppy.  People can't believe she is that old.  My neighbor's chihuahua is the same age and she looks way older than 13 years old.  Maybe the adoption agency was wrong about her age when I adopted her.  Who knows?  Good news is that she is doing well.  I did have to change her food as an experiment.  She was licking constantly and I already stopped feeding her the dry food in the morning and now I need to stop feeding her the dry food at night because she may be allergic to chicken.  If it makes her stop licking I will do almost anything because the licking drives me crazy.  First it was the snorting and now it is the licking.  The dog seems to have developed allergies in her old age.  Getting old is the pits even for dogs...

Until tomorrow...

HAPPI ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

It has been one year since Happi passed away.  I miss her every day. Some days I almost call her because I forget she is gone.  She was the best dog. She was the love of my life.

I can never thank my friend S enough for coming with me on that day when I had to put Happi to sleep.  I was a mess in the car going to the veterinarian's office and Happi was panicking because she hated being in a car since our car accident.  S was so sweet listening to me talk to Happi and tell Happi her story.  Happi loved hearing her story of how she came to live with me.  Her story of how strong she was to escape her circumstances so many times.     

It is just me and Lucky and Sunny (the bird) now.  Lucky is a sweet little dog who tries real hard.  She has really blossomed in the last year.  She likes getting all the attention and getting her way.  

I tried a special yoga class today made for people with arthritis.  The instructor was super nice and showed us how to do the poses in a chair, on the floor or standing.  I tried, I really did.  It is just so hard for me to do yoga.  Here's why: I can't put weight on my hands, wrists, knees or hips.  So almost all floor exercises are impossible.  I can't do much with my left shoulder because I think I tore my rotator cuff last year when I fell and I reinjured it during the lockdown.  So almost all movements in the chair and standing are impossible.  I tried for about 20 minutes and I was able to do about 30% and then I gave up.  What fun is Sun Salutation when you can't lift your arms.  I can't do downward dog or the one where you are a table and lift one leg and one arm.  And forget the one where you look like someone praying on the ground.  No can do.  My hips and knees can't take that.

It was a zoom so I muted and faced the camera toward the ceiling and watched TV until it was done and then joined the social part.  I may try the tai chi.  I know I can do tai chi, I used to do it on Sunday mornings in the park.  I really liked doing tai chi.  I stopped because my friend stopped going with me.  We were the youngest people in the group and I felt silly going by myself.  

I took my Vietnamese cooking course test and I passed with a 90%.  I got one answer wrong. But I passed and I got my certificate.  Now I passed: Vietnamese, German, Japanese/Ramen,  and Thai. I need to finish Italian.  Moving on to Korean!

Until tomorrow...

DAY 73 WORKING ON A HOLIDAY

Day 73 since I left the house.

I worked for part of this Memorial Day.  I have a presentation and a project due tomorrow.  Either I had to work today or I had to cancel some of my other plans this weekend.  I wanted to participate in my other plans so I opted to work today.  My brother helped me figure out how to screen share in Zoom.

I rode 7 miles on my stationary bike after I sent Lucky off with the dog walker.  Then I ate my lunch and put out the cushions on the deck.  It is very hot today.  I saw the thermostat and it said 87 degrees.  Then I started to work on my presentation.

I had a drop by from my neighbor.  We talked about the neighborhood break-in last night.  Another neighbor had their home broken into at 4 am.  Since it was hot, they left their windows open and someone climbed up and in their window.  A laptop and phone were stolen.

Last night I had a dream about Happi. She was standing at my front door and I was petting her and telling her it was okay and I started to cry in my dream.  I woke up and I was crying.  I miss her so much.  It felt so real.

I made roasted potatoes and barbecued a vegan burger for dinner.  I ate on my upstairs deck in the cool breeze with Lucky staring at me waiting for a crumb to fall.

Until tomorrow...

DAY 55 ANNIVERSARY OF MOVING TO WEST COAST

Day 55 since I left the house.

I forgot to mention that two days ago was my anniversary of moving to the west coast.  I have been here for 29 years.  Wow!  Crazy!

I also forgot to mention that yesterday was the anniversary of Happi's birthday.  She would have been 15-1/2 years and it is the anniversary of when I adopted her.  I miss my baby so much.  Two nights ago Lucky slept in Happi's bed for the first time.  I didn't even put the two events together until today.

I have been coloring to relax. I got frustrated that I only had a few color pencils so I bought 120 colors of pencils. I also bought two other coloring books. One arrived today.

I made a new recipe today. White bean & Kale Bake.  Unfortunately I used the 4 cups of water and it took forever to cook. Next time I will use less water. I tasted it and it tasted awesome. It will be great tomorrow. 

Until tomorrow...

DAY 47 HAPPI IS HOME AGAIN

Day 47 since I have left the house

Today I got Happi's ashes delivered to me.  My dog walker went to pick up Lucky's medicine and while he was there he also picked up Happi's ashes.  I feel so sad and at peace to have Happi home again.  She is no longer on a shelf at the vet's office.

Here is the wooden box with her ashes.  I covered up the personal information. 

Happi is home again where she belongs.  Rest in Peace Happi.

Until tomorrow...

DAY 41 CONDOLENCE CARD

Day 41 since I have left the house

I cried again today.  I got a card and opened it.  It was a condolence card from an Animal Aid Society.  My vet made a donation in the memory of Happi  to the Animal Aid Society.  They wrote a very nice sentiment "Please know that you and Happi are in our thoughts".  I was so pleasantly surprised, it made me cry a little.

I have been trying to get Lucky to learn to "come".  She used to be very good at it but during the last year she has been a bit neglected while Happi needed so much of my time.  She sometimes just stares at me when I tell her to come if she doesn't want to come.  I am spending time while the shelter-in-place to retrain Lucky.  She loves to do a good job so she makes for a good dog to train.  As long as I have treats!  The behaviorist told me years ago that Lucky loves positive attention more than anything.  She just loves to be loved. When the dog walker reaches in his pocket she makes a beeline to sit at attention in front of him.  She knows the rules!

I will be honest healthwise.  I have had a tiny sore throat for the last two days.  I think it is from allergies but like everyone, I am a bit paranoid even though I haven't gone outside or been near another person for 41 days.  I am so careful with packages and mail.  I bring in a package or mail with gloves and leave them to sit for 24 hours or 72 hours depending on what they are packaged in.  I am super careful but it still makes me nervous.

I remember when I went to the ER and the doctor's were suspect that I was even sick because I didn't have a fever but now I am reading that many patients with Covid-19 do not have a fever.  Plus I don't get fevers because of the medications I am on suppress fevers.  But I remember arguing with the ER doctor about the fact that I didn't have a fever.  I even told him to call my primary doctor for confirmation.  Anyway it is interesting to read about it now.

Until tomorrow...

REMEMBERING HAPPI TODAY

It has been one month since Happi passed.  The house is so quiet and so lonely without her.  I still expect to see or hear her.  It is almost a shock to see her bed and not see her in it.  The vet's office called to say the box with her ashes are ready for pick up but that will have to wait.  I really would like to have them.  It is right what people say, it is hard to really grieve without a funeral or the ashes or something.  I feel like she was here and then gone and...nothing.  I have no ashes to scatter like I did with Taiko and no box to put on the mantel.

I can not image what people all over the world are going through when their loved ones are dying.  Happi was my furry family and I am having a hard time.  Not being able to have the customary funeral or sitting shiva or scattering ashes or having a memorial/wake or going to have a beer in someone's honor somehow makes it all so not normal and not right.  Just hollow.  Like the person is not being honored.  It makes me sad.

Just remembering Happi today.

Until tomorrow...

NEW PUZZLE

I am starting a new puzzle today.  I am excited to do this puzzle.  It has a lot more pieces but they are all regular puzzle pieces and not the weird shaped pieces like the Christmas puzzle.

I got this awesome card from the Veterinarian's office today.  It was a condolence card and inside was a surprise.  I guess when they took Happi away to put her IV in they also made an imprint of her paw print.  It was inside of the card.  It took my breath away when I opened the card.  My baby's paw print.

Women's Month person:  Julia Child was an American cooking teacher, author, and television personality. She is recognized for bringing French cuisine to the American public with her debut cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and her subsequent television programs, the most notable of which was The French Chef, which premiered in 1963.

 Until tomorrow...

POST-HAPPI DAY

Well, Lucky ate food yesterday so the day started out good.  She gobbled down her food and her medicine.  It is the first time she has eaten in days.  I guess she has turned the corner on her gastrointestinal issue.

Today she pooped for the first time and it was normal.  I know that sounds gross but after a week of not normal poop (what I called chocolate pudding type poop) this was a relief.  I am sure it was more of a relief for her more than me.

I am having a hard time today.  I had moments of crying and moments of remembering good times.  I miss Happi and this house is so very quiet.  I spent months taking care of Happi every couple of hours and now I feel like I have a huge void in my day.  I have so much time that I was spending taking care of her or worrying about her. 

I am sequestered so I only took Lucky for a walk in our empty neighborhood.   I did some more clean up in my bedroom.  Happi had spent her last months in my bedroom except to eat.  I could not vacuum in my bedroom because the sound of the vacuum hurt her ears so I am anxious to give my room a good vacuum.  I am washing my bedding and putting some new bedding I have had for many years but never used because it is white and didn't want to use it with two dogs climbing around on it.  Now is the time to use it.

I am making a list of things I have to do to keep busy.  It is too easy to get stuck binge watching TV shows and movies.  Meanwhile my house stays a mess from this last week when I didn't have time to clean things up.

I went to get my prescription (the last one I will go get in person) and I was shocked how the person behind me in line kept infringing on my space.  Forget six feet distance!  I was lucky she gave me one foot.  I kept moving away from her and she kept moving closer.  I was just about to say something when I was called to the counter.  People!  Leave room between you and the person near you.  Social Distancing means don't come up on people.  You should be the length of your arm and their arm at the very least. 

Until tomorrow...

HAPPI PASSED ON

At 6:00 pm tonight Happi departed this world.  Happi was 15-1/2 years old and she lived an amazing life.  The doctor called her a Miracle Dog after all she lived through.  She slipped peacefully into sleep and then she was gone.  I am hoping she is off in doggie heaven playing with the other dogs; running and smiling again.   I will miss my love, my protector, my friend.  She and I have been through so much together.  She loved it when I told her The Story of Happi.  Here is The Story of Happi:

Once upon a time there was a dog named Happi. Happi was born on an island called Palau in the middle of the ocean.  She was a street dog and she didn't live with a family but she was fed on people's porches.  One day she was running in the street when she was hit by a car.  A visiting microbiologist saved her life by operating on her.  Then a few days later Dr Jen arrived from the Human Society RAVS program and she did the surgery the correct way by taking the whole shoulder off.  Dr Jen spay her so she could not have any puppies.  Then Dr. Jen didn't want to leave her in Palau (they still eat dog there) so she put Happi on 3-days of plane rides to get to the USA.  While Dr. Jen was in Palau, my dog Taiko passed away.  I was so very sad and Dr. Jen was sad she could not be there for me.  When she arrived back in the USA, she called to tell me about Happi!  She asked if I would take her for a few hours.  Of course Happi never went back.  She dove in that dog bed and didn't want to get out.

Unfortunately Happi had heartworm.  It took two shots in the heart to kill the heartworm and I was told that she would have a shortened life because of the injections. 

Happi was a happy, smiling dog.  She loved to run in the park.  She greeted all the other dogs and people.  Years later I got Lucky because I thought Happi needed a sister.  At first they didn't get along too well.  Each tried to bully the other but then they settled in.

During a domestic violence incident, Happi was my protector.  She would come and stand by me but was never violent or had to growl.  You just knew she was my protector. 

Two years ago Happi and I were in a car accident.  The man hit my car and Happi was very shaken up.  She was wearing a seat belt and was not hurt but there was no getting her in a car again without her screaming.  I took her to get checked after the accident and thank goodness I did.  She had a tumor.  They rushed to remove it and it was not cancerous.  It was a bleeding tumor that would have eventually killed her.  That man saved her life.  Now you see why the doctor calls her the Miracle Dog.  She has escaped death three times. 

Happi has not had the best experience with cars.  I can see why she didn't want to get in them in the end of her days.  Cars brought her nothing but pain.

In the end Happi was cared for and loved until her dying breath.  I see her now running and playing  in a field with other dogs as she should be.

TWO DOGS SICK

Happi has an infection on her tummy.  Last week when she fell on the floor when I was not home and got her head caught under a piece of furniture, she scrapped her tummy.  The scrape got infected.  The cut on her foot I kept from getting infected by putting one of my nephew's old baby socks on it and taping it around her leg.  Anyway, I took her to the vet today and got some antibiotic medicine. 

While I was there, I had the vet look at Lucky too.  Lucky has serious gas.  She has had this before and once again she has to take some medicine to break up the gas and them take probiotics.  The poor dog just doesn't pass gas.  Happi does not have that issue! 

That was my afternoon.  My morning was running my last errands.  The Whole Foods was completely wiped out!  The shelves were empty.  It looked like the apocalypse.  I got my few things with my Whole Foods gift card and went to Safeway to get the rest. 

Years ago my transponder for the tolls died.  It just stopped working.  Since in my area you don't need the transponder to have it work, I never followed through to get it fixed.  Last week I finally contacted the company and told them it broke.  Today I got the new transponder.  Now I can use it for other things like parking at the airport.

Women's Month person:  Mother Theresa was a Roman Catholic nun who lived in India for most of her life. In 1950 she founded the Missionaries of Charity which attracted many sisters who took vows of chastity, poverty, obedience and free service to the poorest of the poor. She was praised and criticized on various counts, such as for her views on abortion and contraception, and was criticized for poor conditions in her houses for the dying.

 Until tomorrow...

CORONAVIRUS FLYERING

I was up and in the shower at 5:30 am.  I made a commitment to help the community and I wanted to keep that commitment.  I was afraid to leave Happi but in my sleep (or non-sleep) I came up with an idea of how to pen her in an area of the room so she won't walk around and subsequently fall.  I got up and got the dogs fed and let them out.  Then I put Happi in her bed and put the baby gate a foot and half from the bed.  Therefore she was penned in between the bed, gate, wall and my bed.  I put the water in the "pen" and off I went.  The only thing I forgot to do was put the camera on before the scheduled "on" time so I could not see how she did for the first hour.  But she seemed okay when I got home so that is a win.

I was down in the city handing out informational flyers from the city health department about the coronavirus.  It gives people the low down on how to keep from getting it.  The basics: wash your hands, cover your cough, get a flu shot, and stay home if you are sick.  I handed out flyers for almost two hours.  I found it fun and most people were appreciative.  I was near a small homeless encampment and during a slow time I went over and explained it all to them.  I mostly discussed the first two items: washing your hands and covering your cough.  Most of the folks were interested and asked great questions.  The people going to work asked some questions too and some I could answer but a bunch I could not answer.  Even though I explained that I was a volunteer, I was still asked questions like I was a staff person with the Health Department. I wish I could do it again this week but I have other stuff planned during the times to volunteer.

Women's Month woman: Amy Tan is a writer and her first novel, The Joy Luck Club, won international acclaim. Besides writing, Tan plays in a rock 'n roll band called The Rock Bottom Remainders with several other famous writers, including Stephen King and Scott Turow.

 Until tomorrow...

FINALLY I GOT TO VOTE

Today was going along swimmingly, as they say, and I was working on a hard project.  Late in the afternoon I still had not taken my ballot down to drop in the ballot box.  I took both dogs outside and headed down the 10 blocks to vote.  I met some neighbors and stopped to chat for a few minutes.

Then I started walking again and thought I should check to see Happi is okay.  I get these feelings sometimes.  You know like a feeling that something is going to happen.  I get feelings that I should get off the road when I am driving.  I get feelings that someone is going to call and then they call.  Anyway, I got a feeling that I should check my camera for Happi.

I checked the camera and Happi was on the ground in the middle on my bedroom.  She could not get up and it looked like she had been there for a number of minutes.  There was no public transport so I had to hoof it home.  When I got home I saw on the camera, Happi had been on the ground more than 10 minutes.  She went to get a drink and to poop and she fell.  Her front leg is so weak that she could not get up.  She was on the floor trying to get up for many minutes when she pushed her head under a piece of heavy furniture and got her head stuck.  When I walked in her head was stuck and she was screaming.  There was poop and blood on the floor and Happi had been rolling around in it.  It was not a pretty scene.  I first got her head unstuck and then I put her in the shower to rinse her off.  Then I cleaned up the floor and put her in a fresh bed.

I texted a few neighbors to see if anyone was heading down to vote and if they could take my ballot.  Then I rang my young neighbors to see if they were going out and if they could take it.  One of the guys said he was going for a walk later and he would take it.  I am pretty sure that was a lie but he was very sweet to help me out.  They were very concerned about Happi.  So I got to vote after all.

Women's Month person of the day:  Amelia Earhart, the first woman aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.  Imagine flying a small open air airplane across the Atlantic Ocean.  To me that is so scary.  I think she was so brave!

Until tomorrow...

IT LOOKED LIKE A MASSACRE

First let's get to Women's Month:

Oprah: Oprah Winfrey is my second pick.  Oprah is so cool everyone knows her by her first name.  Oprah started her life in meager beginnings.  She was sexually assaulted as a child.  She rose to fame despite all these things.  Oprah has tried to better society.

Tonight I went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant with my friends.  We sat and talked and laughed.  It was fun.  I had great food.  We were gone for almost 3 hours.  When I left the house, Happi was sound a sleep in her bed.  I gave her her usual drugs and she was out.

When I got home, it looked like a crime scene.  I could not find Happi at first.  I looked in her bed, under the bed, all around my room.  I found her crumbled up by the back door on the floor.  There was blood on the floor by the door, on the way to the door and by her bed.  The baby sock I taped to her foot was nowhere to be scene.  Lucky's bed was moved across the room.  The space heater was moved.  I have no idea what happened in that room.  It really looked like a war zone.

I picked up the pee pads and cleaned up her pee and blood.  The poor baby was shaking and chattering her teeth.  I put her back in her bed and per her to sleep.  She seemed to be scared.  It was dark and she could not find her way.  I need to think about leaving her alone in the dark.

Until tomorrow...

UPDATE ON HAPPI

Well, Happi was much better today.  She ate tremendously and seemed to balance better.  I think we are entering a phase where she has good days and not so good days.   I will hope for more good days.  I am worried about the cut on her little paw.  When she tries to stand up, the cut keeps opening.  The vet says he isn't worried about her getting an infection.  I keep cleaning it with alcohol and try to keep gauze on it but she keeps taking it off.

I have been taking Lucky for longer walks to get her weight down.  She gained a pound since her last check in at the vets.  I think she needs more sustained exercise.  As do I!

Until tomorrow...

TIME TO BE HAPPI'S PROTECTOR

This is a very hard post to write.  If you are the type of person that things make you depressed, you may not want to read this.

My dog Happi has been living with me for 15 years.  Her 15-1/2 year birthday is May 5th.  That is the date she came to America.  Happi was born in Palau and was a street dog.  All dogs in Palau are street dogs and the people in Palau feed the dogs on their porches.  Happi was hit by a car when she was about one year old.  A visiting microbiologist saved her life because Palau doesn't have a veterinarian able to do surgery.  My veterinarian at the time worked with the Humane Society program that went into rural areas to spay and neuter animals.  She just happen to be arriving in Palau and saw Happi.  She redid the surgery on Happi's leg and removed the whole leg and shoulder.  She also spay her.  Then she put Happi on a plane (or planes) for three days to get to America.

Once she got to America I got the call "would you be interested in a cute dog named Happi?"  You see my dog Taiko had just passed away while my veterinarian was in Palau.  Taiko had stomach cancer.  I said fine bring Happi over and that is how I got Happi.  Of course Happi never left.  Happi is the happiest and chillest dog ever.  She wants every dog in the dog park to be her friend and loves every person.  Happi has always been my protector during difficult times. When she was 8 years old I got her a sister named Lucky.  After a few years, they are now best buddies.

Happi has been having a hard time for the last year.  Her kidneys don't work so well.  Her hips don't work so well.  Her front leg doesn't work hardly at all.  She can hardly hear and I think her vision is going.  She is having a hard time standing up and staying up.  She can't walk hardly at all anymore.

Now, it is my turn to make a decision.  I have to decide when and if it is time to be compassionate and let Happi pass on.  I am not ready yet but the time may be nearing.  I have to think of her and not of my feelings of sadness and fear and pain because I know she will be my forever protector and stay on this earth as long as she thinks I need her.  It is my turn to be Happi's protector.

Until tomorrow...

GOT MY CAR BACK

I was so excited today when the dealer called to say my car was fixed. I have a new clutch, brake pads, hydronic lifts for my trunk, and some engine part that had come loose.  Of course my car husband checked my fluids and tire pressure.  The car is running well. It is so weird to have a new clutch, it is so smooth. It is only my third clutch in 17 years and 90,000 miles.

I also got Happi’s test results back. Her kidney function has not gotten worse since Jan. That is good news.  I know she has kidney disease but it isn’t progressing at this time.  She is such a sweetie!

Until tomorrow...

MOVIE NIGHT DOWNTON ABBEY

Tonight was movie night with the girls.  We got takeout food and settled in to watch a movie.  We started out watching a Captain Fantastic.  We thought it was a comedy but we didn't get much further than the killing and skinning of a dear before we changed it to Downton Abbey. 

Downton Abbey, although not a comedy, had enough giggles to satisfy us for Galentine's Day.  A day of female friendships.  Of course Downton Abbey was fantastic.  Lady Grantham is the best.

First thing this morning I took Happi to the vet.  It was super stressful.  I gave her the anxiety medicine one hour before we got in the car.  I had the rental car with 4 doors and I thought it would be easier.  I got her in the backseat and she immediately peed.  Then she was so anxious she would not sit or lay down.  I tried to drive but she slid down and almost choked herself.  I had to pull over three times to move her.  I finally put her on the floor of the passenger side and held her there while she cried and screamed.  It took me 20 minutes to drive about 1.5 miles. 

I got her there and she calmed down.  The doctor saw her and did a kidney test and cut her nails.  He tried to take her blood pressure but she was so stressed her blood pressure was sky high.  She sat in my lap the entire time at the doctor's office; this is something she has never done.  At 25 lbs she is not a lap dog.  I finally calmed her down enough to take her blood pressure again and it was lower and we could leave. 

I will get the results tomorrow.  She has been asleep all day from the stress and medicine.

Until tomorrow...