DAY ON THE PHONE

 I was all set to video chat with my friends when my friend S called me.  She had surgery last week and she called to check in.  It was more important to talk to her and see how she was doing.  Later I spoke to my foster kid and my cousin.  It was another Sunday on the phone checking in with people.  Funny I never used to like being on the phone.

Starting September 1 I am starting a new life plan to keep me on track with my life goals.  I think during this covid-19 time it is important to set goals.  One of my goals is to keep in contact with family and friends. Strengthen those bonds that I made during the beginning of Covid-19 and don't let them slip away. Having friends in my life has been so important.  I have not always been the best at being that friend that talks/texts every day or week.  I am trying to be better.  

I will reveal my other goals later.   

Until tomorrow...

DAY 131 MAKING UP

Day 131 since I left the house.

Today was a day that was unexpected.  I had a phone call with an person I will call person A and I told them some information they didn't know.  They were completely shocked and immediately apologized.  I didn't expect it to go that way. 

Basically, I was told  person A said some not nice things about me.  I believed person B who told me because person B was a friend and very believable.  Why would they lie?  They were a friend.  Then person B became not a friend.  I realized person B lied to me about person A.  I tried to contact person A to talk to them but I never got a call back.  I thought person A was mad at me.

Months went by and today person A and I spoke. Person A didn't realize I called a few months ago and just missed the voicemail.  Person A was shocked by the lies I was told.  I apologized for my part in the situation.  Person A apologized for their part.  We made up.  We both feel betrayed by person B. 

The moral of the story is that people can betray and manipulate you and that is unfortunately life.  The important part is that you apologize for your part in the situation and move on.

Until tomorrow...

FRIENDS?

I saw a friend that I have not seen in awhile.  We had a misunderstanding a few weeks ago and things have not been the same since.  It is hard to act the same way towards someone when the person has betrayed your trust.  You can say "Let's move on."  But acting the same and speaking the same way is hard.  The pristine shell of the friendship has been cracked just a little bit and there is no going back.

She came up to me and hugged me and I was caught off guard.  I hugged her back but I didn't feel it.  We went to get food together because we only had a few minutes to eat between meetings and that felt normal.  Maybe we can repair this friendship.

Until tomorrow...

FRIENDS

What do you do when you are not sure you want to continue being friends with someone you have been friends with for many, many years?  (No, I am not writing about you H or S)  It is a hard decision.  What if the person has stopped being a positive person in your life and although you have been friends for a long time, you just want positive people in your life?  Is that a good enough reason to stop being friends? 

I think I have a lot to think about.  Any assistance would be appreciated.

Until tomorrow...

LUNCH IN THE BACKYARD AND GREEN DAY

Today my friends G and J came over to spend time with me and have lunch.  We decided to spend the day in the backyard since it was very nice.  We walked down and got sandwiches and chips and drank some lemonade that I made.  It was a pleasant day.

Then in the evening I went to see Green Day.  I bought these tickets months ago.  I was so excited to go to this concert when I bought these tickets.  I love Green Day and I never saw them in concert.  Okay, I saw them more than 20 years ago when they played in the Gay Pride parade in San Francisco.  I loved them then and that is when I got hooked. The concert was great.  I was just not in the mood to be at a concert.  I was alone (which I have gone to concerts alone before and I don't mind it) but today it was depressing.  It has been a hard week. 

Until tomorrow...

LUNCH WITH FRIENDS

I had lunch with my friends M and H.  We went down the street to a local place.  I wasn't very hungry but I wanted the company so I happily went.  It was good to catch up with them.

Until tomorrow...

TELLING UPSETTING NEWS

How do you tell a friend some news that might upset them?  I have a friend that I also employ now and then.  This person is going through a life change which is exciting.  I fully support all of it.  The problem is these changes effect our working relationship.  My friend is not able to be available when I am in need of services. 

I have put a Plan B in place.  You know what I mean.  I have another person waiting in the wings just in case my friend's life change takes my friend out of town or in another direction.  I don't want to be left hanging. 

Now, here is my question: How do I tell my friend that I have a Plan B?  I have to tell him at some point that I have a substitute.  I could just wait until my friend is not available and then call the Plan B person and that is an organic transition. 

I just can't wait around for my friend to let me know one day that a month long trip to Katmandu is planned for next week and I am up a creek. 

But I also don't want to lose a friend.  My friend must understand that I can't wait around forever for my friend to figure out life.

Anyway, any ideas will be regarded. 

Until tomorrow...

DAY THREE HUNDRED AND TEN OF THE HAPPINESS PROJECT

Day 310.  Tonight a long time friend came to visit.  She was in town for the long weekend to go camping.  We planned to go to dinner and get burritos.  It was great to see her.

I love seeing a friend that I have not seen in  long while.  I love catching up and finding out what they have been up to.  It just isn't the same when you talk on the phone or email/text back and forth.  In person is so authentic.  Seeing a person's face and gestures that are only theirs.

Anyway it was great to see her and hear about her trip. 

Until tomorrow...

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE OF THE HAPPINESS PROJECT

Day 123.  Happy New Year!  I was all set to have a relaxing day in front of the TV when my friend J texted that he wanted to come over with his girlfriend.  They stopped by for a few hours and I met his new girlfriend.  I heard about his hitchhiking trip down South.  Yes, hitchhiking trip.  I thought he was crazy to go hitchhiking but he wanted to go.  He learned what I told him, that not many people were going to pick up hitchhikers right now.  With all this crazy stuff going on in the USA, I told him I didn't think many people were going to pick up a stranger.  He ended up taking a bus a large part of the way because he could not catch a ride. It was fun to hear about his adventure: sleeping on the beach, meeting interesting people.

Today is also the first day of the fifth month of the Happiness Project.  This month is all about Friendship.  Titled Friends are Forever.


“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”

Topics:

• Meet New People
• Keep in Contact with Your Friends; Be There for Them
• Listen, Smile; Stop Talking
• Bring People Together
• Be Positive - No Gossip
• Cut People Some Slack
• Plan Things To Do; Show Up
• Laugh More!

I have been guilty of letting friendships go, of being wrapped up in my own life and not being there for friends when they need me.  I need to work on being a better friend.


Until tomorrow...

DAY EIGHTY-SEVEN OF THE HAPPINESS PROJECT

Day 87.  Happy Thanksgiving!

My friends arrived around 2pm.  I had already spoken to 1/2 of my family.  They were gathered at my brother's house.

I was still cooking.  I was running behind.  We all gathered in the kitchen while I prepped and put stuff in the oven.  Dinner was nice.  Everyone got their fill of food.  After dinner we went for a walk.  We found a hula hoop.  We had a blast trying to hula.  Or is it hoop?  Anyway, it was the funniest thing to hula in the freezing cold.  After getting hot beverages, we walked back.

It turned out to be a great day with great friends.

Until tomorrow...

FRIENDS

Today was a very relaxing day.  I went to have brunch with a new friend. We walked to the brunch place.  I wrapped my ankle the same way as I did last night and it didn't hurt as much as it did with the ankle brace.  I am going to call the doctor and let her know.  I think this means something but I don't know what.

We had some good food and then walked to the park.  We sat in the park and talked for hours.  I put on sunscreen before we left the house but I still got sun burnt a little.  It was a very warm and sunny day.  Okay, it was a beautiful day.  We never had a moment that we didn't have something to talk about.

It was nice to meet a new friend.  Two new friends in one weekend!

Until tomorrow... 

FRIENDS

Talked to someone today about friends.  How to get friends.  How to keep friends.  How to have an acquaintance become a friend.  It was an insightful talk.  I have always had a hard time with friends.  I have a lot of acquaintances but not too many friends. 

I think this is an area I need to work on.  Making time for friends and reconnecting with old friends.

Until tomorrow...

YOU ARE TOO __________.

Have you ever been talking to someone and they say those words"You are too_____."  It doesn't matter what it is. As soon as you hear those words your defenses go up.

I was watching an episode of Real Houswives of somewhere the other night (yeah, I know what you are going to say) and the women were sitting around talking and drinking.  All of a sudden I heard it: "You are too sensitive." A fun evening of girl chatter and drinks suddenly became an unhappy group of arguing, crying, unhappy women.

Today someone told me I can be too whiny. I was a bit surprised, okay shocked. But maybe I am not so self aware. Maybe I am whiny. Maybe people are just being polite and this person is telling the truth. Suddenly I feel like I am on Survivor. Is the tribe lying to me or is my alliance lying to me?  I don't know. After the person said it she sent me a text sort of apologizing telling me we have known each other a long time and gone through a lot. That anything she says is with affection.

This is why I don't like "You are too..." statements.  Of course you are too statements can be positive also. You are too nice. Pretty. Smart. Sweet. Brilliant. Kind.  Those I like.

Until tomorrow...

WENT TO DINNER WITH FRIENDS

Tonight I went to dinner with some friends. They have been away for two months on a trip abroad. It was interesting hearing about their travels. They went to Canada, Turkey, Sweden, Germany, and England. I find it fun to hear about travels to cities I have never been to.

Until tomorrow...

DINNER WITH A FRIEND

I went a to dinner with a friend. It was nice to catch up. It is sad she moved so far away and we don't see each other too often.  It is hard when friends move away. It just isn't the same with email and texting.  We had a nice visit.

Until tomorrow...

HAD LUNCH WITH A FRIEND

Today I had lunch with a friend I had not seen in about two years. It was fun to catch up. We  started our relationship as a business one. She was one of my clients.  Then she left the place that was my client and we started meeting for lunch.  We connected again and I asked her to lunch. We went to a nice Thai place. We just talked and talked.

Turns out we have more in common than I thought.  She rides a bike also. She has invited me to ride with her once I feel up to it. She also has a passion for photography.  We both also like to read.  I told her about The Happiness Project and she said she was going to check it out.  She is recently retired and has a lot of time on her hands.

On my list of activities I want to do, I wrote entertain. I should include spend time with friends.

Until tomorrow...

RAN INTO SOMEONE

Saturday I went to Target to buy some sundries. I was in line at the checkout and the person in front of me turned around and said my name.  I was completely thrown.  The Target was in the next town so who would expect that I would run into someone I know.  She hugged me. I could not remember her name or where I knew her from. We spoke for a few minutes while she checked out. Then she left. Her parting words were "see you at the hospital."

For the last few days I have wracked my brains trying to figure out where I know her from. Never mind trying to remember her name. I can't place her at all. I went through all my doctors office personnel, hospital personnel and nothing. Then tonight I was texting a friend about this story and it occurred to me that she may not work at my hospital or doctors office. She works at Happi's vet hospital!  She just looks different out of her scrubs and not surrounded by dogs. I still can't remember her name.

Rode the stationary bike for one hour on level 3.

Until tomorrow...

SPEAKING UP

Today a friend, named D, told me a story of how a friend of hers said something to her that was shocking and offensive. D was so surprised that she could not respond. Days later D is telling us this story and she said she was going to stop being friends with this person.  

In the past year I have had two 20 year friendships come to an end. Both came to an end with no explanation. No discussion.  

I told D that I felt this person deserved her telling him that he had offended her. I explained it is horrible to have someone end a friendship and not tell you why or give you a chance to apologize for what you did wrong. 

I have a friend, I will call her C, who I one time said something to and she miss heard me. She got angry at me.  I could not figure out why she was calling me back. I finally left a voicemail saying I apologize if I said or did something to upset you but please tell what it is. She called me back and said I thought you said XYZ and it was so not like you. I said oh, my goodness I would have never said that!!  I thought back to the conversation and realized I may have said something similar and we were on cellphones. It would have been easy to think I said XYZ when I said WXY. We both laughed.  It was a miscommunication.  We made a promise that we would not let a miscommunication get in the way of our friendship again.

I was happy I spoke up today.  Happy Memorial Day!!

Until tomorrow...

GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS

Good News: I had the ultrasound and according to the tech, I have nothing. No cysts, no evidence of burst cysts. Good looking ovaries. Even the fibroid or other thing they found last time is no longer there. Clean as a whistle.

Now I have to figure out what to do. I think it is my Crohn's acting up in a way I have not felt before. 

Bad News: my friend didn't come to see me. First we were concerned that she had a cold. Then she felt better and we decided to meet at a restaurant. Talking across a crowded restaurant should be fine. I had spent the day on public transportation, at a museum and in a hospital. I think having dinner with someone with a minor cold is the least of my worries.  But then we realized that after my test, she would not have enough time on a Friday evening to get to our area and back to the airport in time for her flight.  She is coming back in two weeks. We will meet up then.

Until tomorrow...

FRIEND VISITING

I have a friend visiting and we are supposed to go to dinner tomorrow night.  She just texted me and told me she has a cold.  Here is the dilemma: do we get together and risk me getting sick or do we pass up on getting together.  I decided to wait until tomorrow and see how she feels.  If she is better maybe we will still go to dinner.

Tomorrow is my ultrasound.  I can hardly wait.  Results on Monday.

Until tomorrow...