Sunday, March 25, 2012

Focus On The Journey

It is funny. When you go on a trip people say "Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” A quote by Greg Anderson. I think I have been focusing too much on the destination. Not enough on the journey of this surgery experience.

How soon will I be back on my feet? How soon will I be back at work? Will I be able to drive? Will I get a secondary infection? Will it take me forever to heal? These questions have been consuming me and quite frankly, no one has the answers. Not the doctors, not the surgeon, not even a higher power. It all depends on how things go. It is out of my control so I need to let it go. I need to block out all the voices that are leading me down that path. Because those voices are driving me CRAZY! There are no answers.

I just have to go into this surgery with the faith and positivity that I face every challenge. It is going to be okay however it turns out. Take it one step at a time. Pre-op tests completed. Check. Next I have to find out about my medication. Then I have to let my doctor know what I have decided.

Not sure if I am 100% there yet without talking to Brenda but I am feeling much better. I am so grateful for everyone who has offered up some kind words, advise, supportive words of wisdom on or off my blog. You have no idea what this means to someone who is going through a rough time making a decision. I would squeeze out a tear now but, alas, Sjogren's kicks up its ugly head again and no tears will run down my face. But know there are tears running down my face in my mind!

I will go back to finding the joy not only in the destination but also in the journey. No matter how painful that journey is! (Isn't that what pain medication is for? Ha ha ha...). She's back!!

Until tomorrow...

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