You Talk About Irony

A few weeks ago I had been sent an email from Williams-Sonoma inviting me to bring in a knife to be sharpened for free.  (At this point you are probably wondering where this post is going.  I promise it will make sense so stay tuned.)  I planned with my partner to bring two knives (one each) and get them sharpened.  I was excited because as you know I have been doing a lot of cooking and my knives are quite dull.  I only started cooking seriously in the past two years when I was diagnosed with Crohn's. 

This morning I woke up and my partner decided she didn't want to go with me.  I packed up my one knife and headed out.  Brenda wanted me to take two knives but the email said one knife per person.  I drove to the mall and went into Williams-Sonoma.  I noticed there was a demonstration going on.  I went up to the sales clerk and asked about the knife sharpening.  She said to get the knife sharpened, I had to attend the demonstration on knife techniques and safety.  The What? 

I explained that the email didn't say I had to attend any demonstration.  She said I could attend the demonstration that had already started or come back in 45 minutes when it was over.  I said I would stay for the demonstration.  I walked around the store and browsed while I listened.  I knew most of the information he was teaching: cutting boards and knife sharpeners.  When he got to the knife stones to sharpen the knives, that is when it all goes awry.

The guy is talking and sharpening the knife on the four strengths of stone.  He was not looking at the knife while he was answering questions and he sliced his hand.  (This is the place where any squeamish people should skip the rest of this paragraph) There was blood dripping everywhere. He was asking for a bandage from the sales clerk.  The bandage took a few minutes but when it arrived it was clear that even with the large bandage they brought, the slice was large and deep enough that no bandage was going to stop the bleeding.  He tried two bandages to no avail.  Then he tried to put the hand in a rubber glove and that was just horrible to watch!  Then he just wrapped it in a paper towel and it was bleeding through.

At this point, the people at the demonstration began turning away and telling the sales clerk they wanted to leave.  They told the teacher to go to the hospital and get it checked out. He probably needed stitches.  The store clerk finally called the demonstration and we all filled out the forms to leave our knives to be sharpened and we all left.  They also announced that they would sharpen two knives per person.  Of course I only brought one as directed!  I should have listened to Brenda.

The irony, if you have not figured it out, is that the class on knife techniques and safety ended with the teacher slicing his hand.  What not to do?!    Do as I say not as I do?   I walked by Williams-Sonoma about 20 minutes later and the teacher was still standing upright so I am sure he is okay.